I’ve been on a big The Interrupters kick recently, a fabulously tight punk/ska band who have instantly become one of my favourites.

But…one of their big tracks is She’s Kerosene, which got lodged in my head while I was working with kerosene. The big problem is the first two lines:

I’m a match, she’s kerosene,
You know she’s gonna burn down everything

I’d been trying to set petroleum fractions on fire, a millilitre or two at a time. They come in mixtures according to boiling point, the lighter ones are similar to petrol and will just ignite, but get towards the kerosene-heavy ones, or kerosene itself, and when you throw a match in…it just puts out the match.

Obviously, it still has those warning signs for a reason, dump a bunch of heat in, say a blowtorch, and you may have a problem. Create an aerosol or heat it up and yeah, it’ll burn. The vapour form is definitely dangerous, anything between 0.7% and 5% atmospheric concentration is explosive. That’s why it’s called, aside from kerosene or paraffin, “jet fuel”. It’s really good at dumping energy under extreme temperatures or pressures, and damn safe compared to gasoline. You want that in a jet plane.

But throw an match into a bucket of kerosene and you get a slight fizzle as the match is extinguished.

So to get this earworm out of my head, I’m recording it here. I love you, The Interrupters, but if you play with me you’re playing with pedantry.

I’m a match, she’s kerosene
But she won’t ignite like gasoline
She’s not, all that volatile
Arson with matches probably takes a while
While, while, while, woah
Matches might take a while
While, while, while, woah
Matches might take a while

She needs a chemistry refresher,
She won’t ignite at standard temp and pressure
She needs a mist, for this caper
Or a five percent atmospheric vapour
If she’d run a, trial experiment
She’d have used a faster accelerant
But now she, must admit defeat
Cos she forgot to read the hazard sheet
Matches, out of action, should have used
A lighter crude oil fraction
She’s not, all that volatile
Arson with matches probably takes a while
While, while, while, woah
Matches may take a while
While, while, while, woah

You play with me…you’re playing with pedantry…
You play with me…you’re playing with pedantry…

[repeat to fade]